This time 5 years ago I was officially over being pregnant! I was over it before seeing that positive, plus sign appear on the 10 different test strips. Before getting a confirmation from the doctor. This was my 4th pregnancy in little over 3 years and it felt like I had been pregnant for-like-ever!
At the beginning I love being pregnant. The beginning, I’m referring to when I was pregnant with Paige when there was only Steven and I and Paige on the way. However if one more person I encountered told me that I should enjoy my pregnancy, even though it was going to be over tomorrow, I though of seriously punching them in the face. Not really, but I might shoot some serious daggers while I envision flipping them the bird. How does one go about and enjoy being pregnant? You are not able to experience the best life has to offer. There is a never-ending list of strict rules, regulations – no alcohol, no sushi (which is okay because I’m not a fan), no to caffeine – only in a moderation, and only certain fish are allowed. All the good medicines are off-limits. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Plus I’m too busy running after school events and two toddlers – how is one suppose to even attempt being pregnant?
Pregnant with Paige
New. Adorable. Exciting. Everyone overfeeding you with compliments. Everyone telling you that they can see the ‘glow’ just jump off my face. Frequent naps are encouraged. No one dare to wake you if you do take a nap. No one allows you to lift anything for fear of you overdoing things. You monitor your pregnancy with a tracker app or notebook. You know what week you are. What your fetus is compared to. You can’t help but stare at yourself in every mirror that you come across hoping to catch a glimpse of your baby bump.
Pregnant with Kylie
People still care. It’s not as extreme as it was when you were pregnant with Paige (your first). Offers of help are common, but not as much. You are busy taking care of your firstborn, but still take advantage of down time here and there. You start to find it a little harder to hide your baby bump, but you’re “popping” sooner than your first. Your excitement fades into exhaustion. With each pregnancy no one pays attention to your growing bump. It’s as if it’s been permanently attached to your belly.
Pregnant with Sydney
People still care. It’s not as extreme as it was when you were pregnant with Paige (your first) or Kylie (your second). Offers of help are common, but not as much. You are busy taking care of your first-born who is now in Pre-K and your second born who is a toddler, but still take advantage of down time here and there. You start to find it a little harder to hide your baby bump, but you’re “popping” sooner than your first and second. Your excitement fades into exhaustion. With each pregnancy no one pays attention to your growing bump. It’s as if it’s been permanently attached to your belly.
Pregnant with Shelby
Where did everyone go? No one really cares. You get asked frequently if you know what causes this. Or if you have another girl, are we really done? Or if you were like me, you’ll get asked if you are having twins or triplets and to make sure with the doctor that there is only one BIG baby in there. If you need help now, offers don’t exist. There is absolutely NO TIME for yourself. No naps in the future. You’re too busy taking kids to and from school and chasing a toddler around at the same time. Your only option is to keep pushing on. When someone asks you how far along you are, you have no idea but to remember your due date and offer that as your answer. If they really want to know, they can figure it out themselves. You start showing like seconds after conception and probably just the thought of another. You have zero bladder functions and pee yourself as you laugh, cough, sneeze, or just because.
Not Caring Anymore
At the end of the 3rd trimester, you’ve lost the will to care. You do not care what you look like. If it fits, that’s all that matters. Plaid and polka dots, so be it. Flip flops are always in season. Easy to slip on. No wasted energy on socks or attempting to bend over a belly that looks like you’ve eaten an entire watermelon whole, seeds, shell and all. Nothing tight. No jeans.
You may even recycle the same outfit in a shorter amount of time than socially acceptable. You’ve probably been wearing it straight for the past few days. It’s comfortable. There’s no struggling with putting it on or taking it off more than once. Again, you don’t care. And your hair? When was the last time you wore it down? Messy bun for life! Most days it resembles road kill of some unrecognizable animal left for dead about to blow up on top of my head.
When you look back at the pictures during all your pregnancy, you’ll regret not trying anymore. That’s then. This is now. There is not a care left.
Too Big for Life
At the end of each pregnancy all you’ll remember is that you are too big for everything. Too big for clothing. To big to be comfortable. Too big to stand. Too big to sit. Too big to swim. To big to run. To big to live. Too big to bend over. If you drop something, you better have some kind of strategic thought or plan about how you go about picking it up. Like get those toes of yours to pick up things.
If you find yourself stuck on the ground, then why not master the skill of entertaining your other children while you are down there. Read. Do puzzles. Color. Pretend to chase them around by scooting in circles and stretch out your arms by reaching as far as you can. Lazy? Genius!
Tomorrow, 5 years ago, was the day Shelby blessed us with her life. We, as a family would never take our lives for granted. God has given me the greatest gift of what will soon be four amazing children and we couldn’t be happier.
With all that said, I can’t hide my excitement over the thought of this baby exiting my body. Not much will change about my attitude, at least I’ll have my body back and I can figure out our new normal. Most importantly, I can be reacquainted with my old friend, wine, to help me get through!