1.) I often find Mr. Potato Head, Ponytail holder, Reese’s candy wrappers, Play-Doh, socks, and a Barbie’s head.
I have become a master at using the plunger. I’m amazed that we haven’t had to have a real professional come in and fix any serious damage. Plumber is being added to my resume.
2.) I swear under my breath at least 20 times, if not more, a day!
My swear phrase of choice is: “Are you f@*%ing kidding me!?!?” For example, I have extremely picky eaters. The other night my husband gave my kids an option for dinner – hot dogs, homemade french fries, and ice cream for dessert OR BBQ from a local joint in town. My kids won’t eat the chicken, but will devour the ribs like they are going out of town. “RIBS! RIBS!” I went to get the food with my youngest. While I was paying, she had a major melt down about not being able to get the pie that was looking “yummy in the fridge” as she described it. All I could think of was, “Are you f@*%ing kidding me?” Luckily I was able to bribe her saying, “If we go home and eat your dinner you can have an ice cream cone for dessert.” Problem solved. At least for that moment. When we got home, the ribs were in front of her she started squirming in her chair pushing the ribs away saying, “I don’t like ribs!” … “Seriously! Are you F@*^ING kidding me!?” (under my breath of course. No ice cream that night. Which leads me to…
3.) I bribe my kids.
You probably do not agree with this tactic, but it works wonders for me. For example: “If you do your chores, hygiene, eat breakfat; I’ll let you go on the computer for an hour or two.” This is a win-win for all. The kids live here too. I don’t make the mess all by myself. Half the time I’m in one place majority of the day. It’s not like I go in the livingroom and destroy it just for the fun of it. I’m hoping that one day I won’t have to tell my kids to do their chores, but until that day comes…
4.) I can’t tell you the last time I bought myself something.
I don’t have a job that rolls in the money. We don’t have the “extra” funds to buy non-essential things. Like those Coach sunglasses that I saw the other day on sale. It was a great deal!
5.) I, like all Moms, work 24/7
I handle temper tantrums. Dirty looks. Picky eaters. Screamers. Those who do not believe in a nap. I get big hugs. Smiles. Laughs. Dare-devils. I never know what the day will bring me. I wouldn’t trade my job for anything.